Have you ever cared so deeply for someone
that you actually had to walk away?
It seems I've found myself in a situation where
"hardest thing, and the right thing are the same."
I had to tell someone that I love that we can't
communicate anymore until some things get
sorted out. I believe he loves me back...but that
remains to be seen.
I used to believe that love was always easy,
and if it was meant to be then there wouldn't be
a struggle. Well, I don't believe that anymore.
I think sometimes the most amazing relationships in
life have been challenging, and the fight to make them
work makes them so much more valuable in the end.
I believe that this man is worth fighting for, but I think
I have to play the silent part now. I have purposefully
never prayed for patience because I have
always been afraid of the the circumstances I
would have to endure in order to learn that lesson. Well,
it appears that I am getting "schooled" in both patience
and trust! UGH! Double UGH!
I think that my biggest fear is that I'm going to wait,
and be patient, and trust...only to get hurt again! Guess we'll
have to see what happens! Here's to some real life
edumacation! (and yes, I spelled it wrong on purpose!) :)
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Another Update
Well, my attempts at blogging have been few because….well, I’ve been exhausted! Though the pace of life here is much slower than we’re used to back home, our days have been filled to the brim to maximize our time here.
On Sunday, November 2nd we attended the New Life Church – pastored by Keat and Sally Cove. My dad preached while Keat interpreted for him. It was amazing to me how even though we do not speak the same language you can totally tell that we share the same love and reverence for our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! We were able to tour their Primary School facility – New Hope School following the service. They are building a 4-story concrete addition which will house 20 classrooms and 20 guest rooms. Though not completed, the children are already using about 6 of the classrooms now for school. After the tour, we enjoyed a wonderful home-cooked meal in Keat and Sally’s home with their lovely adopted daughter, Hannah. They have two grown sons, both in the states…and adopted Hannah. She is 10.
Our afternoon, in my opinion, was the highlight of the day! We took an adventurous Tuk Tuk ride out to a ferry…ferried about 30 minutes to an island…and had a most interesting, hilarious, muddy Tuk Tuk ride out to a small church/village. It had rained both the night before and earlier that day, so the standing water and mud was unbelievable! We got stuck several times…and had to get off and push our little Tuk Tuk out of the mud holes! It was quite comical, to say the least!
We were greeted by about 20 island children singing, “Jesus Loves Me” as we entered their church building. It was the sweetest sound I think I have ever heard! These people were the most gentle, gracious, loving people…and they are unbelievably poor! They were so generous…giving us Cokes and a variety of fresh cut fruit and bananas. The bananas here are the sweetest I have ever tasted…we have no idea at home how much we’re missing in the fruit category! We had a chance to speak briefly to the people, and then their pastor distributed the rice we brought for them. I was brought to tears as we watched these people begin to tithe rice back to the church. I was ashamed of myself as I witnessed the poorest of poor be obedient to the instructions God gives in His Word about tithing…and I, even though not wealthy, tend to keep most of my money to help make ends meet for me at home. These amazing people have no money to give, so they gave from their rice! Wow, what a special moment to witness! Then in the midst of that, the pastor’s daughter came to us asking if we would pray, and dedicate a beautiful baby girl that was born only 5 days before. Her mother walked a far distance with her baby to the church to ask us to do this for her. As we prayed with her…I realized that these people rely much more heavily on our God than I think I do…and that their prayers are surely heard more often than mine because of their faithfulness! It’s so easy for me to become self-reliant…and lose my way. We can skate through many days, weeks, and months when things are going well and forget to even acknowledge God in our lives…until crisis hits! Ugh, I don’t want to be that gal! I want a great thirst and hunger for learning more, and being more!
Upon returning to our hotel, we went downstairs for dinner…and unfortunately I had such a horrible headache that I had to head to bed before I was even able to finish eating. I think this was probably the only night we didn’t have a game of UNO going! Hee hee! I have become the UNO Queen! J
Monday, November 3rd
This day began with an early breakfast with our sweet server, Nary (who actually took care of us for both breakfast and dinner for almost our entire stay) She has such a sweet, gentle way about her. She commented on the fact that we have brought her many smiles…she loves to see our laughing faces. How sweet is that! It’s been sad for me to see how most people do not interact at all with the hotel staff. I feel like we have become friends with some of them…actually looking forward to seeing them and interacting during meals!
After breakfast we were met by Pastor Betouen Ouk – who took us down to Sihanouk Ville (a southern town on the ocean) where we made hotel/conference arrangements for a local pastors’ conference to be held in March…this conference is being put on by a local council of pastors, but staffed by American teachers/pastors. We were able to have lunch at a local Korean restaurant with Mr. David Koo – a Korean man who founded the Life University…an international school with 900 primary/secondary students and over 500 college students. In my opinion, we had the best meal of my life! Mr. Koo ordered for us (we wouldn’t have had a clue what anything was w/out him.) We were able to eat with Mr. Koo, and both the President and Vice-President of Life University. The University is the ONLY Christian university in Cambodia…and offers 7 colleges of study! They are in the process of building a hospital on their campus…hoping to open next fall! The university sits up on a hillside – and has the most beautiful views of the city and ocean! It’s so exciting to see how God is using his people, through education, to reach the people of this nation!
Our car ride with Pastor Betouen was an experience to behold. There are no speed limits in Cambodia…and if you intend to get anywhere…you must drive quickly and aggressively. It would be an understatement to say that we put our life in his hands on the roads of Cambodia. We maintained speeds close to 80 the entire way…slowing to 60 in highly populated school zones.
Upon return to the hotel…we had dinner (consisting of cheeseburgers – tasting nothing like ours, but tolerable) then retreated to a small lounge area on our floor for cokes and several highly competitive games of UNO before heading to bed! With a much needed shower and a couple Tylenol PM…I slept like a baby!
Tuesday, November 4th
Tuesday began with breakfast buffet downstairs in the main restaurant…and a fun little visit with our new waiter friend, Rattana. After breakfast, we met Chorn (our Tuk Tuk driver) and his precious litte girl…for a ride to the New Hope School to meet the children and take some candy and balloons. We were greeted by all 170ish students who shouted out hellos and a welcome in Khmer. It was so precious! We then visited each classroom introducing ourselves and answering questions. While with the preschoolers (age 3) we got to play Duck-Duck-Goose Cambodian style with the kiddos. What fun! It was so fun to play and giggle with these kids. Every time we took a picture we showed the kids their faces on the camera…most of them had not seen themselves on camera before. It was like fighting off swarms as they all tried to pull the camera away to get a peak!
Chorn then took us to Chab Dai…a foundation working with over 40 Christian partners to provide refuge, counseling, health and legal support for women and children bound by sexual abuse and sold into the human trafficking markets. We learned that the young girls in this society are often sexually and physically abused by their fathers while their mothers are away during the day making a living for their families…and the young boys are sodomized mostly by foreigners, but often by local pedophiles. The Cambodian people as a whole do not communicate about private things. Parents and children do not have open relationships…and it is seen a weakness if you share details of your life to friends and especially strangers. They believe if you talk about what happens in your family you are an easy target for people to take advantage of or control you. Therefore, one must stay silent to survive. Chab Dai is working to educate the Cambodian people about the atrocities happening within their communities…and often within the walls of the homes of people in their own churches…providing hope and a safe future for women and children. It is acceptable in this society for men, Christian men included, to have a mistress…and changing this mindset is a huge challenge. Women are not precious…or valued here…mostly just a possession.
As many of you know…I unfortunately have a history of physical and sexual abuse…and my heart aches for these women and children. As I meet and hear stories of the abuse here…I am grateful for my own healing and the love of our Lord who is both my Refuge and my Strength to survive and move forward with a healthy heart! I pray for the safety and eternal healing for these broken people.
After leaving Chab Dai, we had the opportunity to visit the Fountain of Wisdom Publishing company and Steve and Mary Westergren. It’s funny to learn that Steve’s sister is married to my cousin, Pete…and we sing, “It’s a small world after all…” This publishing house is the only place that translates and publishes Christian books in the Khmer language. There are currently only 13 Christian books in print…but there are about 7 more books in progress…most of which are children’s books designed to help all the abused and traumatized children in Cambodia. Steve is working in partnership with Chab Dai to produce this material. I am extremely excited to see the progress they are making as they work to provide these materials as a tool to work through the emotional damage and hopeful recovery from abuse.
We had a relaxing long lunch with Mary and Steve at a Greek restaurant called “Steve’s Steakhouse” I thought that was an ironic name for a Greek place. LOL! It was nice to be able to talk to Americans who spoke very clear…understandable English! It was also very helpful to get observations of these wonderful people about the Cambodian people and their ways. Steve and Mary have lived in Cambodia for over 11 years and know and love the people and their culture. They were able to give great advice for communication and expectations!
After lunch, Steve took us to the Tuol Sleng Prison…which was originally a high school, but was turned into a place of interrogation and torture chamber during Pol Pot’s reign of terror in Cambodia. We stood in the rooms where the Khmer Rouge soldiers (often only 12-14 years old) heinously beat, tortured, and often killed Cambodian civilians. Over 20,000 men, women, and children were tortured here before being taken to Choeung EK to be killed…by starvation, beheaded, or most commonly buried alive. It was horrifying to see pictures of these young boys getting pure satisfaction out of killing babies…they would throw them into the air and shoot them like we would target practice with clay pigeons. Please forgive the bold description, but that’s the nicest way I can describe it. We left that place with a horrible feeling of sadness and anger towards the whole Khmer Rouge regime. Over 20 Khmer Rouge soldiers and military leaders are awaiting trial in Cambodian prisons today.
After a very solemn ride back to the hotel my dad left for a dinner meeting with the local pastors’ council and Sonja and I enjoyed a quiet dinner. We had the opportunity to visit with a few of the staff…and were educated on the names of many local fruits. We all laughed a lot. The employees smiled and giggled more than I had seen them all week so far. Many other hotel guests frowned upon our interaction with them…but I LOVED it! It was great to learn little pieces about their lives outside of the Phnom Penh Hotel. They are such a lovely people!
Wednesday, November 5th
We headed out early once again….this time with Pastor Theng. We visited a women’s center in Kampong Chinnang (approximately a 2 hour drive from Phnom Penh). I was sure that I had experienced the most terrifying car ride of my life with Pastor Betouen, but “hory cow” (Sonja’s and my new saying) this was by far the worst. Often reaching speeds of 90…cows and children walk at your own risk. Sadly, we hit a dog crossing the road. It took every ounce of Sonja’s being and focus not to vomit after that one. It was awful! I can’t even tell you how many times we locked up the brakes trying to avoid hitting a cow or water buffalo crossing the road. OMGosh!
The women’s center offered housing, meals, and job training for about 30 women who have been “rescued” out of prostitution and severe sexual abuse situations. They are taught “sawing” otherwise known as sewing, and cosmetology. These women agree to spend at least one year at the center to gain the training they need to be able to prosper in society by themselves. We learned that several women have died at the center of AIDS. They were unable to get any medical treatment because of people’s fear of the disease. Their bodies were put inside barrels and cremated after death because they were even too afraid and ashamed to touch them. This center had received a huge generator donated from someone in the states over 2 years ago that has never worked…how fantastic is that? The American’s give a “used” gift that doesn’t even work! Hopefully, we can find out some information on it back at home to help them by at least getting an owner’s manual for it. We distributed more feminine products to these women than I have ever seen in one place expect on the shelves at Wal-Mart! Imagine the embarrassment of Pastor Theng as he had to translate the use and purpose of a tampon. Insert giggle here!
We also visited Transitions Cambodia in Battambang….a trade school where women learn computers and sewing…much like the women’s center in Kampong Chinnang.
Our adventure on Wednesday truly began upon arrival at our hotel in Battambang…the Golden Palace Hotel. Wow…what an experience! We had gecko lizards scurrying up the walls…and were lucky to have running water…our showers took about 3 times the normal amount of time due to a severe lack of water pressure. Once showered, we braved a walk around town in search of a “safe” place to eat. We drank Cokes at the White Rose Restaurant…then ventured to the fittingly named Gecko Restaurant where they offered Western-style food and 30-minute foot massages for $4. Who knew one could eat and get a massage at the same place. We had a splendid meal of beef/rice for only $4 per person with fresh squeezed lime juice and club soda…with no ice cuz we weren’t sure how safe the water/ice were…we’re desperately trying to avoid Montezuma’s revenge! J After dinner we walked back to our hotel…showered and camped out in dad’s room for our evening ritual…UNO! Once again…I kicked butt!
On Sunday, November 2nd we attended the New Life Church – pastored by Keat and Sally Cove. My dad preached while Keat interpreted for him. It was amazing to me how even though we do not speak the same language you can totally tell that we share the same love and reverence for our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! We were able to tour their Primary School facility – New Hope School following the service. They are building a 4-story concrete addition which will house 20 classrooms and 20 guest rooms. Though not completed, the children are already using about 6 of the classrooms now for school. After the tour, we enjoyed a wonderful home-cooked meal in Keat and Sally’s home with their lovely adopted daughter, Hannah. They have two grown sons, both in the states…and adopted Hannah. She is 10.
Our afternoon, in my opinion, was the highlight of the day! We took an adventurous Tuk Tuk ride out to a ferry…ferried about 30 minutes to an island…and had a most interesting, hilarious, muddy Tuk Tuk ride out to a small church/village. It had rained both the night before and earlier that day, so the standing water and mud was unbelievable! We got stuck several times…and had to get off and push our little Tuk Tuk out of the mud holes! It was quite comical, to say the least!
We were greeted by about 20 island children singing, “Jesus Loves Me” as we entered their church building. It was the sweetest sound I think I have ever heard! These people were the most gentle, gracious, loving people…and they are unbelievably poor! They were so generous…giving us Cokes and a variety of fresh cut fruit and bananas. The bananas here are the sweetest I have ever tasted…we have no idea at home how much we’re missing in the fruit category! We had a chance to speak briefly to the people, and then their pastor distributed the rice we brought for them. I was brought to tears as we watched these people begin to tithe rice back to the church. I was ashamed of myself as I witnessed the poorest of poor be obedient to the instructions God gives in His Word about tithing…and I, even though not wealthy, tend to keep most of my money to help make ends meet for me at home. These amazing people have no money to give, so they gave from their rice! Wow, what a special moment to witness! Then in the midst of that, the pastor’s daughter came to us asking if we would pray, and dedicate a beautiful baby girl that was born only 5 days before. Her mother walked a far distance with her baby to the church to ask us to do this for her. As we prayed with her…I realized that these people rely much more heavily on our God than I think I do…and that their prayers are surely heard more often than mine because of their faithfulness! It’s so easy for me to become self-reliant…and lose my way. We can skate through many days, weeks, and months when things are going well and forget to even acknowledge God in our lives…until crisis hits! Ugh, I don’t want to be that gal! I want a great thirst and hunger for learning more, and being more!
Upon returning to our hotel, we went downstairs for dinner…and unfortunately I had such a horrible headache that I had to head to bed before I was even able to finish eating. I think this was probably the only night we didn’t have a game of UNO going! Hee hee! I have become the UNO Queen! J
Monday, November 3rd
This day began with an early breakfast with our sweet server, Nary (who actually took care of us for both breakfast and dinner for almost our entire stay) She has such a sweet, gentle way about her. She commented on the fact that we have brought her many smiles…she loves to see our laughing faces. How sweet is that! It’s been sad for me to see how most people do not interact at all with the hotel staff. I feel like we have become friends with some of them…actually looking forward to seeing them and interacting during meals!
After breakfast we were met by Pastor Betouen Ouk – who took us down to Sihanouk Ville (a southern town on the ocean) where we made hotel/conference arrangements for a local pastors’ conference to be held in March…this conference is being put on by a local council of pastors, but staffed by American teachers/pastors. We were able to have lunch at a local Korean restaurant with Mr. David Koo – a Korean man who founded the Life University…an international school with 900 primary/secondary students and over 500 college students. In my opinion, we had the best meal of my life! Mr. Koo ordered for us (we wouldn’t have had a clue what anything was w/out him.) We were able to eat with Mr. Koo, and both the President and Vice-President of Life University. The University is the ONLY Christian university in Cambodia…and offers 7 colleges of study! They are in the process of building a hospital on their campus…hoping to open next fall! The university sits up on a hillside – and has the most beautiful views of the city and ocean! It’s so exciting to see how God is using his people, through education, to reach the people of this nation!
Our car ride with Pastor Betouen was an experience to behold. There are no speed limits in Cambodia…and if you intend to get anywhere…you must drive quickly and aggressively. It would be an understatement to say that we put our life in his hands on the roads of Cambodia. We maintained speeds close to 80 the entire way…slowing to 60 in highly populated school zones.
Upon return to the hotel…we had dinner (consisting of cheeseburgers – tasting nothing like ours, but tolerable) then retreated to a small lounge area on our floor for cokes and several highly competitive games of UNO before heading to bed! With a much needed shower and a couple Tylenol PM…I slept like a baby!
Tuesday, November 4th
Tuesday began with breakfast buffet downstairs in the main restaurant…and a fun little visit with our new waiter friend, Rattana. After breakfast, we met Chorn (our Tuk Tuk driver) and his precious litte girl…for a ride to the New Hope School to meet the children and take some candy and balloons. We were greeted by all 170ish students who shouted out hellos and a welcome in Khmer. It was so precious! We then visited each classroom introducing ourselves and answering questions. While with the preschoolers (age 3) we got to play Duck-Duck-Goose Cambodian style with the kiddos. What fun! It was so fun to play and giggle with these kids. Every time we took a picture we showed the kids their faces on the camera…most of them had not seen themselves on camera before. It was like fighting off swarms as they all tried to pull the camera away to get a peak!
Chorn then took us to Chab Dai…a foundation working with over 40 Christian partners to provide refuge, counseling, health and legal support for women and children bound by sexual abuse and sold into the human trafficking markets. We learned that the young girls in this society are often sexually and physically abused by their fathers while their mothers are away during the day making a living for their families…and the young boys are sodomized mostly by foreigners, but often by local pedophiles. The Cambodian people as a whole do not communicate about private things. Parents and children do not have open relationships…and it is seen a weakness if you share details of your life to friends and especially strangers. They believe if you talk about what happens in your family you are an easy target for people to take advantage of or control you. Therefore, one must stay silent to survive. Chab Dai is working to educate the Cambodian people about the atrocities happening within their communities…and often within the walls of the homes of people in their own churches…providing hope and a safe future for women and children. It is acceptable in this society for men, Christian men included, to have a mistress…and changing this mindset is a huge challenge. Women are not precious…or valued here…mostly just a possession.
As many of you know…I unfortunately have a history of physical and sexual abuse…and my heart aches for these women and children. As I meet and hear stories of the abuse here…I am grateful for my own healing and the love of our Lord who is both my Refuge and my Strength to survive and move forward with a healthy heart! I pray for the safety and eternal healing for these broken people.
After leaving Chab Dai, we had the opportunity to visit the Fountain of Wisdom Publishing company and Steve and Mary Westergren. It’s funny to learn that Steve’s sister is married to my cousin, Pete…and we sing, “It’s a small world after all…” This publishing house is the only place that translates and publishes Christian books in the Khmer language. There are currently only 13 Christian books in print…but there are about 7 more books in progress…most of which are children’s books designed to help all the abused and traumatized children in Cambodia. Steve is working in partnership with Chab Dai to produce this material. I am extremely excited to see the progress they are making as they work to provide these materials as a tool to work through the emotional damage and hopeful recovery from abuse.
We had a relaxing long lunch with Mary and Steve at a Greek restaurant called “Steve’s Steakhouse” I thought that was an ironic name for a Greek place. LOL! It was nice to be able to talk to Americans who spoke very clear…understandable English! It was also very helpful to get observations of these wonderful people about the Cambodian people and their ways. Steve and Mary have lived in Cambodia for over 11 years and know and love the people and their culture. They were able to give great advice for communication and expectations!
After lunch, Steve took us to the Tuol Sleng Prison…which was originally a high school, but was turned into a place of interrogation and torture chamber during Pol Pot’s reign of terror in Cambodia. We stood in the rooms where the Khmer Rouge soldiers (often only 12-14 years old) heinously beat, tortured, and often killed Cambodian civilians. Over 20,000 men, women, and children were tortured here before being taken to Choeung EK to be killed…by starvation, beheaded, or most commonly buried alive. It was horrifying to see pictures of these young boys getting pure satisfaction out of killing babies…they would throw them into the air and shoot them like we would target practice with clay pigeons. Please forgive the bold description, but that’s the nicest way I can describe it. We left that place with a horrible feeling of sadness and anger towards the whole Khmer Rouge regime. Over 20 Khmer Rouge soldiers and military leaders are awaiting trial in Cambodian prisons today.
After a very solemn ride back to the hotel my dad left for a dinner meeting with the local pastors’ council and Sonja and I enjoyed a quiet dinner. We had the opportunity to visit with a few of the staff…and were educated on the names of many local fruits. We all laughed a lot. The employees smiled and giggled more than I had seen them all week so far. Many other hotel guests frowned upon our interaction with them…but I LOVED it! It was great to learn little pieces about their lives outside of the Phnom Penh Hotel. They are such a lovely people!
Wednesday, November 5th
We headed out early once again….this time with Pastor Theng. We visited a women’s center in Kampong Chinnang (approximately a 2 hour drive from Phnom Penh). I was sure that I had experienced the most terrifying car ride of my life with Pastor Betouen, but “hory cow” (Sonja’s and my new saying) this was by far the worst. Often reaching speeds of 90…cows and children walk at your own risk. Sadly, we hit a dog crossing the road. It took every ounce of Sonja’s being and focus not to vomit after that one. It was awful! I can’t even tell you how many times we locked up the brakes trying to avoid hitting a cow or water buffalo crossing the road. OMGosh!
The women’s center offered housing, meals, and job training for about 30 women who have been “rescued” out of prostitution and severe sexual abuse situations. They are taught “sawing” otherwise known as sewing, and cosmetology. These women agree to spend at least one year at the center to gain the training they need to be able to prosper in society by themselves. We learned that several women have died at the center of AIDS. They were unable to get any medical treatment because of people’s fear of the disease. Their bodies were put inside barrels and cremated after death because they were even too afraid and ashamed to touch them. This center had received a huge generator donated from someone in the states over 2 years ago that has never worked…how fantastic is that? The American’s give a “used” gift that doesn’t even work! Hopefully, we can find out some information on it back at home to help them by at least getting an owner’s manual for it. We distributed more feminine products to these women than I have ever seen in one place expect on the shelves at Wal-Mart! Imagine the embarrassment of Pastor Theng as he had to translate the use and purpose of a tampon. Insert giggle here!
We also visited Transitions Cambodia in Battambang….a trade school where women learn computers and sewing…much like the women’s center in Kampong Chinnang.
Our adventure on Wednesday truly began upon arrival at our hotel in Battambang…the Golden Palace Hotel. Wow…what an experience! We had gecko lizards scurrying up the walls…and were lucky to have running water…our showers took about 3 times the normal amount of time due to a severe lack of water pressure. Once showered, we braved a walk around town in search of a “safe” place to eat. We drank Cokes at the White Rose Restaurant…then ventured to the fittingly named Gecko Restaurant where they offered Western-style food and 30-minute foot massages for $4. Who knew one could eat and get a massage at the same place. We had a splendid meal of beef/rice for only $4 per person with fresh squeezed lime juice and club soda…with no ice cuz we weren’t sure how safe the water/ice were…we’re desperately trying to avoid Montezuma’s revenge! J After dinner we walked back to our hotel…showered and camped out in dad’s room for our evening ritual…UNO! Once again…I kicked butt!
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Cambodia - October 29th - 1st
Well, I promised to blog daily…so here goes:
Friday, October 31st
7:30 AM
Well, we’ve survived over 24 hours of travel with only 2 hours left to go.
The trip began with an intense game of UNO sitting in the McDonalds at DIA. I totally kicked butt by the way! J
The first leg of our trip was Denver to San Fransisco…easy…non-eventful! I, however, began to notice some of the cultural differences as we stood in line to board our flight to Taipei, Taiwan. Americans, by no means, are generally polite and friendly, but we definitely have a greater need and respect for personal space! Please remove yourself from my “little bubble” NOW! Holy shoving matches!
I couldn’t help but giggle because though we were being boarded in order of our rows from back to front (United Airlines should take notice of this very smart practice) and were all headed in the same direction…and leaving at the same time…over half of the passengers forgot that we were not running a race. There was no prize for first place! The pushing, shoving, and occasional running over my toe with a suitcase wheel was at the very least irritating at 1:00 in the morning! And…I’m not sure how many times the airline personnel had to say “now boarding rows 40 to 63…no sir, we’re not boarding 32 yet. Now boarding rows 40 to 63!” REALLY? Wow…saw at least a dozen people struggle with that instruction! J
About 14 ½ hours, 2 full meals, 3 fairly lengthy naps, 100 dirty looks from the elderly gentleman in the seat next to me, and at least twice as many smiles and giggles (shared between Sonja, my dad, and me) later…we landed in Taipei! Oh, and we can’t forget the oh so critical Tylenol PM! Can’t imagine that flight without it! Sonja decided it was probably a good thing that my dad decided to change seats with her because he ended up having to deal with the crazy, pushy woman who felt it necessary to literally CRAWL over the top of him to get into the aisle so she would be able to get off the plane faster. She then ended up practically sitting on his lap with her bags because there wasn’t any room for her in the aisle! Sonja surely would have decker her at this point! God bless stupid people! J Ha ha!
I was so relieved to get that not-so-fresh…feels like someone slept in my mouth….feeling gone! I’ve never been soooo excited about brushing my teeth! We browsed the “duty free” shop briefly…gotta love the NO TAX concept! Apparently…the current exchange rate for Taiwan is 32.41 = $1. Pretty sure I’ll have to pick up a thing or two on my way back home that says Taipei! Not sure when I’ll be back in Taiwan again! J
It’s crazy because we are in to our last hour in the air – and as I sit here staring out the window at all the cool cloud shapes – seeing castles, turtles, dancing bears, and back-floating frogs hanging high above the ocean – I can’t help but be awed by the fact that I am actually on this trip! I’m not sure that it’s really hit me yet, but guess what…I’m going to Cambodia! Oh, wait…I mean…I’m almost in Cambodia!
I am so grateful for this amazing opportunity, and am praising God ahead of time for what He’s going to do in and through my life in these next 10 days!
11:50 AM
Well, so much for an easy, uneventful trip! I had an odd feeling that things were going too well – and boy was I right! None of our luggage made it to Phnom Penh from Taipei…so we have NO clean clothes. And, we’ve been told we won’t get our bags for a minimum of 24 hours. Good times!!
Sonja and I are both showered now – sitting in our nice clean robes…waiting for the latest possible moment to get back into our dirty clothes. Keat Cove, a local pastor here, is coming to pick us up to take us to the Central Market to buy some clothes to get us through a day or 2.
On a positive note, our hotel…The Phnom Penh Hotel is absolutely beautiful! I just read through the hotel directory and a 2 hour massage is only $20. That would NEVER happen anywhere in the USA! I can’t wait to book one!
Well…better put those dirty clothes back on…we’re off to the market!
Saturday, November 01, 2008
3:00 PM
I was too exhausted to write last night when we got back to the room…but we had an interesting time at the market. The Central Market takes up about 2 full city blocks…one half is food (bread, raw meat, fish, veggies, etc…) and the other is all clothing, jewelry, and everyday living items. I can’t begin to explain what this was like. We walked through tiny little alleys that had shirts and pants hung from floor to ceiling. Each “vendor” bringing us items they’re just sure we want/need! The kicker for me was when I showed them a shirt I wanted…but needed in a larger size…the woman said to me…”we no have you size…just small size like you friend…no big size for you!” TOTALLY made me giggle! I’m not a huge woman…but compared to this very small, petite people….no big size fo you! I loved it!
Well, we finally did find an outfit…and a few little gifts to bring back home before retiring to the little lounge area on our floor where we drank hot tea and played yet another round of UNO before heading to bed!
Today was a casual, fun-filled…but humbling day! We enjoyed a Cambodian attempt at an American Breakfast at 6:30 AM…it was mostly good, but Sonja did suffer a few gag-reflex induced moments caused by unidentified local fruits…which we now describe as the ‘stinky feet fruit.” They apparently taste like dirty feet smell! You figure that one out!
After breakfast (about 7:30 AM) we descended up on the streets of Phnom Penh in the back of a Tuk Tuk (a 2 seater cart pulled by a motorcycle). Our driver, Chan, took us through this city so gracefully. One would never imagine, after sitting for hours in traffic in Denver, that you could move through such incredible mayhem so smoothly. My dad describes driving in this city as “a symphony of chaos!” We’ve seen a family of 5 on the back of a motorcycle….about 20 people in a small van…a group of people sitting on top of a load of goods in the back of a pickup truck…and brand new Mercedes and Lexus’ all competing for the same share of asphalt space. Oh, and they don’t have many stop lights here…so everyone moves slowly through intersections…often driving down the wrong side of the street trying to reach their destination!
We took a 45 minute ride (approximately 15 miles) out to the “Killing Fields” where we witnessed the result of the mass genocide of over 2 million Cambodian people in the mid-late 1970’s. Several hundred mass graves were found holding the bodies of educated men and women…doctors, lawyers, teachers…each grave nearly 6 meters deep. The skulls of the victims now lay in a memorial on the grounds. This was the most humbling experience…standing on the dirt containing these victims’ teeth and clothing left laying on the ground as most were stripped naked before being beaten, stabbed, bludgeoned, or beheaded. The families of these educated victims were hauled outside the city limits and left to die of starvation.
This history is only 30ish years old…I can’t even fathom this type of genocide…especially in this century! It’s amazing to think that every grey-haired man and woman that we meet here has such an amazing story to tell about all they witnessed and experienced during those devastating times in the late 1970’s.
We then spent the remainder of the morning at the Palace of the King of Cambodia! What an amazingly beautiful, grand place!
Friday, October 31st
7:30 AM
Well, we’ve survived over 24 hours of travel with only 2 hours left to go.
The trip began with an intense game of UNO sitting in the McDonalds at DIA. I totally kicked butt by the way! J
The first leg of our trip was Denver to San Fransisco…easy…non-eventful! I, however, began to notice some of the cultural differences as we stood in line to board our flight to Taipei, Taiwan. Americans, by no means, are generally polite and friendly, but we definitely have a greater need and respect for personal space! Please remove yourself from my “little bubble” NOW! Holy shoving matches!
I couldn’t help but giggle because though we were being boarded in order of our rows from back to front (United Airlines should take notice of this very smart practice) and were all headed in the same direction…and leaving at the same time…over half of the passengers forgot that we were not running a race. There was no prize for first place! The pushing, shoving, and occasional running over my toe with a suitcase wheel was at the very least irritating at 1:00 in the morning! And…I’m not sure how many times the airline personnel had to say “now boarding rows 40 to 63…no sir, we’re not boarding 32 yet. Now boarding rows 40 to 63!” REALLY? Wow…saw at least a dozen people struggle with that instruction! J
About 14 ½ hours, 2 full meals, 3 fairly lengthy naps, 100 dirty looks from the elderly gentleman in the seat next to me, and at least twice as many smiles and giggles (shared between Sonja, my dad, and me) later…we landed in Taipei! Oh, and we can’t forget the oh so critical Tylenol PM! Can’t imagine that flight without it! Sonja decided it was probably a good thing that my dad decided to change seats with her because he ended up having to deal with the crazy, pushy woman who felt it necessary to literally CRAWL over the top of him to get into the aisle so she would be able to get off the plane faster. She then ended up practically sitting on his lap with her bags because there wasn’t any room for her in the aisle! Sonja surely would have decker her at this point! God bless stupid people! J Ha ha!
I was so relieved to get that not-so-fresh…feels like someone slept in my mouth….feeling gone! I’ve never been soooo excited about brushing my teeth! We browsed the “duty free” shop briefly…gotta love the NO TAX concept! Apparently…the current exchange rate for Taiwan is 32.41 = $1. Pretty sure I’ll have to pick up a thing or two on my way back home that says Taipei! Not sure when I’ll be back in Taiwan again! J
It’s crazy because we are in to our last hour in the air – and as I sit here staring out the window at all the cool cloud shapes – seeing castles, turtles, dancing bears, and back-floating frogs hanging high above the ocean – I can’t help but be awed by the fact that I am actually on this trip! I’m not sure that it’s really hit me yet, but guess what…I’m going to Cambodia! Oh, wait…I mean…I’m almost in Cambodia!
I am so grateful for this amazing opportunity, and am praising God ahead of time for what He’s going to do in and through my life in these next 10 days!
11:50 AM
Well, so much for an easy, uneventful trip! I had an odd feeling that things were going too well – and boy was I right! None of our luggage made it to Phnom Penh from Taipei…so we have NO clean clothes. And, we’ve been told we won’t get our bags for a minimum of 24 hours. Good times!!
Sonja and I are both showered now – sitting in our nice clean robes…waiting for the latest possible moment to get back into our dirty clothes. Keat Cove, a local pastor here, is coming to pick us up to take us to the Central Market to buy some clothes to get us through a day or 2.
On a positive note, our hotel…The Phnom Penh Hotel is absolutely beautiful! I just read through the hotel directory and a 2 hour massage is only $20. That would NEVER happen anywhere in the USA! I can’t wait to book one!
Well…better put those dirty clothes back on…we’re off to the market!
Saturday, November 01, 2008
3:00 PM
I was too exhausted to write last night when we got back to the room…but we had an interesting time at the market. The Central Market takes up about 2 full city blocks…one half is food (bread, raw meat, fish, veggies, etc…) and the other is all clothing, jewelry, and everyday living items. I can’t begin to explain what this was like. We walked through tiny little alleys that had shirts and pants hung from floor to ceiling. Each “vendor” bringing us items they’re just sure we want/need! The kicker for me was when I showed them a shirt I wanted…but needed in a larger size…the woman said to me…”we no have you size…just small size like you friend…no big size for you!” TOTALLY made me giggle! I’m not a huge woman…but compared to this very small, petite people….no big size fo you! I loved it!
Well, we finally did find an outfit…and a few little gifts to bring back home before retiring to the little lounge area on our floor where we drank hot tea and played yet another round of UNO before heading to bed!
Today was a casual, fun-filled…but humbling day! We enjoyed a Cambodian attempt at an American Breakfast at 6:30 AM…it was mostly good, but Sonja did suffer a few gag-reflex induced moments caused by unidentified local fruits…which we now describe as the ‘stinky feet fruit.” They apparently taste like dirty feet smell! You figure that one out!
After breakfast (about 7:30 AM) we descended up on the streets of Phnom Penh in the back of a Tuk Tuk (a 2 seater cart pulled by a motorcycle). Our driver, Chan, took us through this city so gracefully. One would never imagine, after sitting for hours in traffic in Denver, that you could move through such incredible mayhem so smoothly. My dad describes driving in this city as “a symphony of chaos!” We’ve seen a family of 5 on the back of a motorcycle….about 20 people in a small van…a group of people sitting on top of a load of goods in the back of a pickup truck…and brand new Mercedes and Lexus’ all competing for the same share of asphalt space. Oh, and they don’t have many stop lights here…so everyone moves slowly through intersections…often driving down the wrong side of the street trying to reach their destination!
We took a 45 minute ride (approximately 15 miles) out to the “Killing Fields” where we witnessed the result of the mass genocide of over 2 million Cambodian people in the mid-late 1970’s. Several hundred mass graves were found holding the bodies of educated men and women…doctors, lawyers, teachers…each grave nearly 6 meters deep. The skulls of the victims now lay in a memorial on the grounds. This was the most humbling experience…standing on the dirt containing these victims’ teeth and clothing left laying on the ground as most were stripped naked before being beaten, stabbed, bludgeoned, or beheaded. The families of these educated victims were hauled outside the city limits and left to die of starvation.
This history is only 30ish years old…I can’t even fathom this type of genocide…especially in this century! It’s amazing to think that every grey-haired man and woman that we meet here has such an amazing story to tell about all they witnessed and experienced during those devastating times in the late 1970’s.
We then spent the remainder of the morning at the Palace of the King of Cambodia! What an amazingly beautiful, grand place!
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
...and He did!
In church last weekend our Pastor asked us to take some time to mull over a few questions this week as we are entering a new series of messages. I have already chatted with a few people about these questions/answers, but thought I'd explore them with you here! So, here goes question #1:
Where in your past have you needed God to "show up"...and He DID?
It's funny because if you know me at all, you know that I DESPERATELY need God to "show up" in my life every single day. For so many reasons unknown to me, I have been dealt a hand of cards that at first glance makes me want to fold every time! I used to have a poster in high school that said My mom says God won't give me any more than I can handle...I sure wish He didn't trust me so much! Little did I know that at the age of 32 I would be living that statement!
There are a ton of HUGE moments in my life where I needed God to show up...and He most definitely did! But, I feel like it's the smaller, every day moments that require so much more faith from me:
...the moments first thing in the morning when my son decides that his first words need to be full of hate and anger...before I've even had a chance to give him a bear hug and say "good morning"
...the moments when I've made breakfast for him and for no known reason he decides it's appropriate to show his irritation or frustration by seeing if his bowl of oatmeal can fly.
...the moments when money is so tight that I'm not sure how I'm going to be able to put gas in my car to get me to my next cleaning job and someone steals Austen's bike while it's out of our sight for only 15 minutes
...and so often the moments when I lay my head down on my pillow feeling defeated and alone, longing for a partner to share life with.
THESE are the moments that are so critical for me! These are the times that I desperately need my God to "show up"...and HE DOES!
He "shows up" by giving me the ability to take a deep breathe and not shout back hateful, angry words! And gives me the insurmountable love for my son that allows me to pull him in to my arms and hug him...and tell him how much I love him and cherish the fact that I am his mommy!
...He "shows up" by allowing that heavy ceramic bowl to hit the floor without breaking, only spilling minimal amounts of oatmeal as we have learned on so many occasions is fully capable of flying w/ a small amount of force. My God, once again, gives me the ability to hold my tongue...and discipline out of love!
...He "shows up" by bringing someone along who just happens to have a brand new bike that he wants to give to someone...and is there any chance we need one? And then he allows there to be just enough gas in my tank to get me where I need to go!
...and He "shows up" in those lonely moments by wrapping His loving arms around me...and reminding me of His promises to supply ALL of my needs and that He is the Lover of my soul...drying my tears lulls me to sleep!
Where in your past have you needed God to "show up"...and He DID?
It's funny because if you know me at all, you know that I DESPERATELY need God to "show up" in my life every single day. For so many reasons unknown to me, I have been dealt a hand of cards that at first glance makes me want to fold every time! I used to have a poster in high school that said My mom says God won't give me any more than I can handle...I sure wish He didn't trust me so much! Little did I know that at the age of 32 I would be living that statement!
There are a ton of HUGE moments in my life where I needed God to show up...and He most definitely did! But, I feel like it's the smaller, every day moments that require so much more faith from me:
...the moments first thing in the morning when my son decides that his first words need to be full of hate and anger...before I've even had a chance to give him a bear hug and say "good morning"
...the moments when I've made breakfast for him and for no known reason he decides it's appropriate to show his irritation or frustration by seeing if his bowl of oatmeal can fly.
...the moments when money is so tight that I'm not sure how I'm going to be able to put gas in my car to get me to my next cleaning job and someone steals Austen's bike while it's out of our sight for only 15 minutes
...and so often the moments when I lay my head down on my pillow feeling defeated and alone, longing for a partner to share life with.
THESE are the moments that are so critical for me! These are the times that I desperately need my God to "show up"...and HE DOES!
He "shows up" by giving me the ability to take a deep breathe and not shout back hateful, angry words! And gives me the insurmountable love for my son that allows me to pull him in to my arms and hug him...and tell him how much I love him and cherish the fact that I am his mommy!
...He "shows up" by allowing that heavy ceramic bowl to hit the floor without breaking, only spilling minimal amounts of oatmeal as we have learned on so many occasions is fully capable of flying w/ a small amount of force. My God, once again, gives me the ability to hold my tongue...and discipline out of love!
...He "shows up" by bringing someone along who just happens to have a brand new bike that he wants to give to someone...and is there any chance we need one? And then he allows there to be just enough gas in my tank to get me where I need to go!
...and He "shows up" in those lonely moments by wrapping His loving arms around me...and reminding me of His promises to supply ALL of my needs and that He is the Lover of my soul...drying my tears lulls me to sleep!
Check out last weekend's message to get the background behind the questions
www.flatironschurch.com/messages Click on BRiX - Love October 4th and 5th
Little Treasures
I just have to say how incredible excited I am about my most recent excursion to one of my favorite stores and receiver of so much of my money...Hobby Lobby!
I have been keeping my eyes open for the "perfect" piece to hang in either my guest room or entryway...and low and behold I found IT! And the coolest part about it was that it was on clearance...$199.99 marked down to a beautiful $19.99 I had to actually ask to make sure i wasn't seeing things or having one of my strawberry-blonde moments and would get to the register and have to have them put it back when they told me my total would be over 200 with tax! Sure enough...it was only $19.99! So, I now am the proud owner of a big, beautiful mirror. You'll have to come over and have a glass of wine with me to see it!
I have been keeping my eyes open for the "perfect" piece to hang in either my guest room or entryway...and low and behold I found IT! And the coolest part about it was that it was on clearance...$199.99 marked down to a beautiful $19.99 I had to actually ask to make sure i wasn't seeing things or having one of my strawberry-blonde moments and would get to the register and have to have them put it back when they told me my total would be over 200 with tax! Sure enough...it was only $19.99! So, I now am the proud owner of a big, beautiful mirror. You'll have to come over and have a glass of wine with me to see it!
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Here I go!
Well, I figured I'd join the blogging world like so many others of you! I'm a little hesitant because I know that I will be putting myself out there for the world to see...but here goes nothin!
How much do I trust HIM?
I am always amazed at how God shows up in my life in such incredible ways. I have spent my life in church…and have had an amazing love for Jesus for as long as I can remember.
I had decided at a very young age that I wanted to be a child of the Most High God…and follow His Plan for my life…the best way to live! Unfortunately, during my late high school and early college years life dealt me a very unfair hand that left me broken, beaten, bruised, and feeling filthy dirty. Even though I knew in my heart that my God loved and adored me…I began to feel like even though I could trust Him with every other area in my life…well, He couldn’t protect me physically and sexually. It was the moment when I came to this realization that I decided that if I gave myself…no one could “take” anything from me again!
Mark 5: 24-34 tells us of a woman who had been “subject to bleeding for 12 years,” had spent all of her money on doctors trying to fix her…and found no relief. She heard that Jesus was in town and she believed that if she could just “touch His clothes, she would be healed.” The song below by Nicole C. Mullen tells this amazing story of faith.
One Touch (Press)
Been ostracized for 12 years I'm used to being alone
Spent everything I had And now it's gone
I'm used to being put down My issues tell it all
My only hope is anchored In this fall
(Chorus) If I could just touch the hem of His garment
I know I'd be made whole
If I could just press my way through this madness
His love would heal my soul
If only one touch
So many people calling How could He ever know
That just a brush of Him Would stop the flow
If He knew would He rebuke me Or shame me to the crowd
Well I'm desperate 'cause it's never or it's now
If I could just touch the hem of His garment
I know I'd be made whole
If I could just press my way through this madness
His love would heal my soul.
And then suddenly He turned around He said somebody has unleashed my power
Well, frightened and embarrassed I bowed You see I told Him of my troubles
And how... I had to touch the Hem of His garment
And i know I've been made whole
And how I had pressed my way through this madness
And His love has healed my soul.
Then with one word He touched the hem of my garment
And you know I've been made whole
And somehow He pressed His way through my madness
And His love has healed my soul. I tell you He touched me.
He reached way down and touched me
When no one else would touch me Jesus shol' 'nough [[sure enough]]
He touched me...
And I know I've been made whole
I was at a conference recently at the Pepsi Center in Denver where Nicole C. Mullen sang this song…and that is when my Redeeming God unleashed His power and pressed His way through my madness….promising His healing for my soul damaged by so many years of doubt and mistrust.
I’ve been praying for so many years that I would be able to reach a point in my life when I could finally TRUST the Lord with the most treasured, sacred parts of my being…my body and heart…and I believe He’s renewing my hope. I have been afraid and embarrassed by my shameful actions…and though I’ve waited for God to throw down His wrath on me…He instead is pulling me in to His arms and telling me that I am His beautiful, treasured Child. And HE LOVES ME! He will give me the strength and courage to make some very hard choices in the days to come.
The message that has been burned into my soul almost daily for the past several weeks has been this: HOW MUCH DO YOU TRUST GOD! HOW BIG DO YOU THINK HE IS? I’m gonna choose to trust that His way is the best way for me to live. My way has only led to scars and emptiness…I choose to let Him fill my void! I’ll be anxious to see how God uses me in the days to come.
Here is a link to this song…take a minute and listen! It's on her player...One Touch...or if you're my friend on myspace...it's on my profile too!
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=76400394
I had decided at a very young age that I wanted to be a child of the Most High God…and follow His Plan for my life…the best way to live! Unfortunately, during my late high school and early college years life dealt me a very unfair hand that left me broken, beaten, bruised, and feeling filthy dirty. Even though I knew in my heart that my God loved and adored me…I began to feel like even though I could trust Him with every other area in my life…well, He couldn’t protect me physically and sexually. It was the moment when I came to this realization that I decided that if I gave myself…no one could “take” anything from me again!
Mark 5: 24-34 tells us of a woman who had been “subject to bleeding for 12 years,” had spent all of her money on doctors trying to fix her…and found no relief. She heard that Jesus was in town and she believed that if she could just “touch His clothes, she would be healed.” The song below by Nicole C. Mullen tells this amazing story of faith.
One Touch (Press)
Been ostracized for 12 years I'm used to being alone
Spent everything I had And now it's gone
I'm used to being put down My issues tell it all
My only hope is anchored In this fall
(Chorus) If I could just touch the hem of His garment
I know I'd be made whole
If I could just press my way through this madness
His love would heal my soul
If only one touch
So many people calling How could He ever know
That just a brush of Him Would stop the flow
If He knew would He rebuke me Or shame me to the crowd
Well I'm desperate 'cause it's never or it's now
If I could just touch the hem of His garment
I know I'd be made whole
If I could just press my way through this madness
His love would heal my soul.
And then suddenly He turned around He said somebody has unleashed my power
Well, frightened and embarrassed I bowed You see I told Him of my troubles
And how... I had to touch the Hem of His garment
And i know I've been made whole
And how I had pressed my way through this madness
And His love has healed my soul.
Then with one word He touched the hem of my garment
And you know I've been made whole
And somehow He pressed His way through my madness
And His love has healed my soul. I tell you He touched me.
He reached way down and touched me
When no one else would touch me Jesus shol' 'nough [[sure enough]]
He touched me...
And I know I've been made whole
I was at a conference recently at the Pepsi Center in Denver where Nicole C. Mullen sang this song…and that is when my Redeeming God unleashed His power and pressed His way through my madness….promising His healing for my soul damaged by so many years of doubt and mistrust.
I’ve been praying for so many years that I would be able to reach a point in my life when I could finally TRUST the Lord with the most treasured, sacred parts of my being…my body and heart…and I believe He’s renewing my hope. I have been afraid and embarrassed by my shameful actions…and though I’ve waited for God to throw down His wrath on me…He instead is pulling me in to His arms and telling me that I am His beautiful, treasured Child. And HE LOVES ME! He will give me the strength and courage to make some very hard choices in the days to come.
The message that has been burned into my soul almost daily for the past several weeks has been this: HOW MUCH DO YOU TRUST GOD! HOW BIG DO YOU THINK HE IS? I’m gonna choose to trust that His way is the best way for me to live. My way has only led to scars and emptiness…I choose to let Him fill my void! I’ll be anxious to see how God uses me in the days to come.
Here is a link to this song…take a minute and listen! It's on her player...One Touch...or if you're my friend on myspace...it's on my profile too!
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=76400394
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